I'm looking for a unicorn
I have been looking for a unicorn my entire life. Or the end of the rainbow. Who knows exactly which metaphor I should use? Whatever is, the feeling is the same.
I am a born artist. When I was a child, the clouds were magical as was the wind. I could control it. I had my own spells to invoke it and I really believed it works. Dragons, wizards, witches, winged horses, magic portals… There wasn’t a way of those things not being real. If my wishes, made when I saw shooting stars, became real; if I could really control the wind — anything was possible. And I still have this belief.
I have this creative soul that wants to live impossible things and sometimes the only impossible thing seems to be living in this world that tries to make me an adult. By that, I mean the Little Prince’s definition of a grown-up. Those humans that just believe in what they can see or touch. The ones that think that lives are to pay the bills, to remain alive, to go work and come back and rest of work. It kills me.
No one ever taught me how to believe in myself, just didn’t make sense not doing it. If everything can be possible, why wouldn’t my dreams? Why wouldn’t I be able to do anything at this time that I have?
Now I’m always moving. In the last five years, I had seven jobs, I lived in nine houses, in three cities and two countries. Why? I deny myself to live where people try to make me stop believing. You can say that I am avoiding real life or that I am avoiding responsibilities. If you do, I already know that you are one of them. And it’s okay, you’re not an enemy. We are just on different paths.
But as an artist, as someone that creates stories, someone that imagine different worlds, living as an adult won’t make me happy. It will destroy me. Therefore, the only thing that I am avoiding is the end of my soul. About living? Oh, probably I’ll be moving for a long time, just because I want to live impossible and incredible things. I want my own unicorn.
I watched this movie Unicorn Store, directed and starred by Brie Larson, and if you are an artist or just believe in impossible things, it worth your time.